SSBM's Need Money!
by UltrafanX
Summary: Yeah, My First SSBM fic!! Kirby 'accidentally' spends all the money in the Super Smash Bros' bank account! So, to keep up SSBM, the smashers need to find a way to make some cash! >=) Please R&R!


Hi everybody out there in Super Smash Bros. Land!! It's the world most obsessive fanboy, ULTRAFANX, here with my first SSBM fic EVER!!  
  
Camomon: Actually, you wrote this like four months ago and just found it now.  
  
Shut up, foo!! Anyway, please keep reading! If I get a lot of reviews, I'm going to try and write some more SSB fics!! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: UltrafanX does not own Super Smash Brothers Melee or SSB. But if I did, THEN I WOULD BE THE RICHEST WRITER IN ALL THE LAND!! AHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  
  
SSBM Needs Money!!!  
  
It was wonderful summer (Snow falls all over the ground), er, winters day for the SSB and SSS. All was right. Birds were singing, the Smashers were training, and pikachu and his muchachoes were plotting to take over the earth. Of course, no day can be this peaceful for the smashers without something bad occurring.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Master hand's shrill screech rung through the air of Nintendo land. It wasn't long before the SSB's were there, seeing not only MH but also a sad looking Kirby.  
  
"What's going-a on?" Mario asked, still drowsy from his classic Saturday morning nap.  
  
"Yeah, I was just about to achieve complete psychic supremesse." Mewtwo thought, referring to his battle with psychic child, Ness.  
  
"We've got some bad news." the white glove said in a depressed voice. "The company's broke. We don't have the money to keep SSBM up."  
  
"IMPOSSIBLE!" the electric rat pokemon, pikachu, noted. "I keep our bank account and it has flawless records!!!"  
  
"Yeah, except Kirby got the account out of the bank and into a Taco Hut." Master Hand said.  
  
"I CAN'T HELP IT! No Kirby alive can resist an All You Can Eat Taco Buffet for exactly the amount in the SSBM Bank Account." the small puff ball said.  
  
"So, what do we do? We can't just sit around and beat the proverbial and literal stuffing out of Kirby." the hero of time, Link, said to an angry crowd of Smashers advancing on Kirby.  
  
"I guess" Samus Said "We'll have to raise the money somehow."  
  
"But how?" Bowser said.  
  
  
  
The Smashers had now decided to raise money in different groups. Link, Zelda, Gannon, Marth, Y. Link, and Roy, had all decided to join in a group. "Any ideas, Link" Roy said in a bored tone.  
  
"No" Link responded, just as bored.  
  
"Hey, Marth. Your a prince. Why can't you just ask your folks for a loan? That'd cover our expenses." Young Link said.  
  
"No, I tried that. The kingdom's facing financial problems. Something about a bear and inflation. Hey, ya think it has something to do with Kirby?" Marth said.  
  
"What about you, Zelda? I've been to your castle and your pretty rich." Gannon asked.  
  
"Pretty, yes. Rich, no. The financial system runs on Rupees. The current exchange rate for five hundred Rupees is one penny." Zelda said.  
  
"Hey, I've got a great idea" Young Link said with a fiendish look on his face. The rest of the smashers looked on, obviously unsure of how good this idea would work out.  
  
  
  
  
  
Team Mario (Dr.Mario, Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Yoshi, and DK) wasn't having much luck. They had lots of ideas, just not luck.  
  
"Okay" Princess Toadstool said "We're in a three way tie between a health clinic for goombas, an instant kill-o-matic, and a Super Happy Tree."  
  
"How will that last one make money?" Mario asked.  
  
"Yoshi, Yosh, Yosh, Yoshi, Yosh!" Yoshi squealed.  
  
"Yoshi and me" DK said "Think its a good idea."  
  
"But it won't make money!" Dr. Mario said. "Not like the health clinic. Are you aware how many Goombas Mario KO's a day? I won't even get into the number of Koopas because there's, well, Luigi present."  
  
"Can't we all just get along?" Bowser, King of the Koopas, asked of the group.  
  
"Shut-a up, you turtle faced reject" Mario said.  
  
It wasn't long before total chaos erupted. The riot was finally, calmly, stopped by Princess Peach.  
  
"QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!" Peach yelled. Everyone froze. "It seems to me the only way to decide this. Will try everyone's plan. Uh, will start with Bowser." Everyone gulped with fear as Bowser gritted his teeth.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Team Random (the Pokemon, G&W, Kirby, Ness, and the Ice Climbers) thought of ideas as well.  
  
"So, what do we do?" Kirby asked.  
  
"Hey you were the one that lost all are money. You think of a plan." Mewtwo said.  
  
"Well, we could scam some suckers." Kirby said.  
  
"Please, that's the-" Pikachu started, but then had an idea. "That's it! With my smarts, Mewtwo and Ness' Psychic powers, and the rest of our adorability, we can scam enough people to bring SSBM back to par!!!"  
  
"That has to be the horrible, stupid, pathetic, loathsome, and downright sneaky idea you've ever had!!!" Ness said.  
  
"I agree with Ness, let's do it!!!" Pichu said. A cheer went up as the group began their mission to fleece the masses.  
  
  
  
Mario's group walked out of a smoldering pile of rubble, their clothes charred and burned.  
  
"Tell me again, Bowser. How great is this plan?" Mario mocked.  
  
"Shut up" Bowser responded.  
  
"Okay, next is Yoshi and DK's plan" Peach read from her list.  
  
A few seconds later, the group was in a field (With new, non-burned clothes) planting.  
  
"Okay Yoshi" Luigi said, a tired look on his face, the rest of Team Mario behind him, "We-a sowed all the Super Happy Tree seeds. What next?"  
  
"Well, we just wait for the tree to grow and produce fruit, and then we sell it for tons of money!" DK said, Yoshi nodding.  
  
"Cool! So, When will the tree start to give fruit?" Mario asked.  
  
"Well, according to Yoshi's calculations, the trees should grow... any...two thousand... years." DK said, knowing he had made a mistake. The entire group did a facevault.  
  
"Next." Peach said.  
  
  
  
On board the Great Fox, Samus, Fox. Falco, and Captain Falcon, looked out, waiting for the phone to ring for their new Bounty Hunter Corp. Falco boredly played with a paddle ball, Falcon practiced his poses, Samus checked her blaster, and Fox sat around angrily.  
  
"I don't get it!!! Star fox gets thousands of jobs a week. Where's all the buisness???" Fox asked.  
  
"It's just a dry spell, I guess." Captain Falcon said, quickly going back to his posing.  
  
"I don't know and that." Samus said, looking out at a space bill board, which read 'UNIVERSE IS A O K!!!', next to the building where every nation was now holding the interplanetary peace meeting.  
  
"I told ya this was a bad idea" Falco said.  
  
"I wonder how everyone else is doing?" Samus asked.  
  
  
  
Team Mario stood before their failed "Paranormal investigations agency" (PIA), also known as "Luigi's Ghost Hunters". The sign was now covered with boards and the building closed down.  
  
"So, who's left?" Mario asked.  
  
"The only person left is.ME!" Peach squealed with glee. "And, I've got the perfect plan" she continued as she held up some pink costumes.  
  
Half an hour later the gang was where frilly pink dresses and berets, carrying boxes of candy.  
  
"Peach-a! Why do we-a have to where these stupid get-ups?" Dr. Mario asked.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, pink clashes with my eyes." Bowser said. "Although, this dress is quite slimming." Bowser was then given a more than needed dose of vacant stares.  
  
"It's my turn to try something" Peach said, breaking from her trance. "And besides, this plan we'll be a lot more successful than the others if you do it right. Now, you're going to sell these cookies (Box says "Nintendo scout candies"). If you sell every box at the right price, we should be well on are way to saving SSBM. Now, Move OUT!!!" With that, Team Mario began their last 'futile' attempt at raising money.  
  
'Ding-dong' the doorbell rang, with a more than embarrassed Mario on the other end. The door opened to a familiar orange face.  
  
"Hey, your one of those pika-freaks, aren't ya. Nice costume." Crash the Bandicoot said.  
  
"Oh. Hey Crash. I'll leave." Mario said, depressed.  
  
"Hey, don't go!! I owe ya a favor for putting my game on your console. So what can I do for you." Crash said.  
  
"Aww, SSBM's in the hole." Mario started.  
  
"The Kirby thing again." Crash asked.  
  
Mario nodded. "Were trying out some plans, and this is the last one: Selling cookies door-a to door-a."  
  
Crash looked sympathetically. "Gee, Mr. M, I'd like to help ya, but I just bought a whole bunch from the hairy kid over there." he said, pointing over to DK, who was doing fabulous business.  
  
"Okay, that's fifty boxes. Sorry I can't give anymore, but that's all I got." DK said politely.  
  
"Donkey-a, how are you doing such great-a business?" Mario asked, amazed.  
  
"I don't know. They go crazy over it. Must be a cookie depression." DK said.  
  
"And here's your money", the woman said, giving DK a bunch of bananas.  
  
"__ DK" Mario asked, very, very angrily "What have you been charging."  
  
"Oh, One banana every five boxes. Just enough for an afternoon snack." DK said, wolfing down a banana. Mario promptly slapped his forehead. Suddenly, Luigi came over to the two. "Hey, the old lady down the street said everyone in the neighborhood had bought cookies from Donkey." Again Mario slapped his forehead.  
  
"Hold on guys. I never hit that house over there." DK said, pointing to a spooky old house at the end of the road.  
  
"Do we have to?" Luigi asked.  
  
"Uh-huh." Mario said sadly. The three approached the door with an equal amount of fear. Luigi walked up and lightly tapped the door three times.  
  
"Weeeell, I guess-a no ones home. Letsgo!!!" he said.  
  
"You couldn't wake up a baby with that knock." DK said as he wound up a punch. "BANANA SLAMMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he said as he knocked down the door. Behind the door was an outdoor festival looking something like a renascence festival.  
  
"I think we went back in time." Luigi said.  
  
".or to another place." DK added.  
  
".or both-a." Mario said. Suddenly, the trio saw a fight between two nights, one dressed in black armor and one dressed in white armor. The 'good' knight lunged at the black night, who side-stepped the assault and smashed the white night's head with the handle of his sword. As he lay defeated, the white night's helmet rolled off to reveal.  
  
"Gannon!!!!" Mario said.  
  
"That's Gannondorf, you pile of slime." Gannondorf said before rubbing the wound on his aching head.  
  
The black night, who had taken off his helmet to reveal himself as Adult Link, said, "See, Gannon, I told you it wasn't just cause Myamoto liked me better. I'm just stronger."  
  
"What's going on?" DK asked.  
  
"Oh, it was Young Link's idea", Roy said, walking over from a weapon's booth. "Renascence festival. Who'd a thunk it."  
  
"Yeah, where doing great!!" Marth said, yelling over from his position as king. "I drew the short straw, so I got to be king!!!  
  
Then, Zelda and YL walked over. "All we need is a few more days and we'll have enough money." YL said.  
  
"Alright, all we to do is kick back and relax." Luigi said, resting on the side of a pole.  
  
"LUIGI, NO!!!! THAT'S A LOAD BARRING POLE!!!!" Zelda said as Luigi knocked over the pole, causing a chain reaction which destroyed the whole renascence set up.  
  
Mario, DK, and the entire Link group stared at Luigi as the green plumer said, "WHAT!!!" defensively.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Pikachu, the boss of the Random group's casino, "The Cuddly Gambler" walked over to a card game which was being dealt by Mewtwo.  
  
"Alrighty, five card stud, Ace's duce's wild." Mewtwo said. He then quickly used his psychic powers to give him a hand which read Ace, Ace, Ace, Ace, Two. After all bets were in, Mewtwo showed his impressive hand, giving him all the money.  
  
Pikachu then strolled over to the slot machines. Inside of each of the four were either Nana, Popo, Pichu, or Jigglypuff, each one changing the slots so that they always were 'almost' bar,bar,bar, but always so that they were not jackpot so the gambler would keep going.  
  
The other activities included roulette, which Ness 'controlled', and drinks which were dispensed by G&W.  
  
"Pikachu", Kirby yelled "we almost have enough money!!!"  
  
"Perfect" Pikachu said "By tonight, we'll have SSBM back."  
  
Just as if on que, a swat team of cops came and surrounded the building. "The jig's up, Pikachu!!!" The chief yelled.  
  
"Gentlemen, I can assure you, we are doing nothing wrong." Pikachu said.  
  
"Tell it to the photos." The chief responded, handing Pikachu exclusive photos of the smashers illegally rigging the machines and using psychic powers.  
  
"Who would photograph this?" Kirby asked.  
  
"We, a, got a call from a whistleblower for hire." The chief said. As the police confiscated the machines and such, Capt. Falcon walked in.  
  
"Hey, guys" Captain Falcon said "Me and the guys made fifty bucks ratting out the owner of this dump to the police."  
  
"You idiot!!!" Mewtwo said.  
  
"We made fifty million bucks. We own the casino." Kirby said.  
  
"Oh boy" the Capt. Said.  
  
  
  
The ex-Smashers sat outside the SSBM building.  
  
"Well, I guess we can go back to SSB. And hey-a, I'll have more time to make Super Mario Sunshine ®." Mario said.  
  
"Speak for yourself!" Marth said. "I have to move back in with my parents in Japan."  
  
"At least you and Roy-boy are still making games." Gannon said. "I'm not even in any new games. I guess it's back to fanfic's for us, eh Link?"  
  
"Well, I got a deal with Soul Calibur." Link said "At least all still be in fighting games."  
  
"Yeah", YL said "And I'm in the Legend of Zelda's new game."  
  
"Damn" Gannon said.  
  
As the smashers prepared to leave, Master hand entered the scene. "What are you guys doing? Get in there and kill each other!!!" He said.  
  
"But we're out-a money." Mario said.  
  
"Oh yeah. Well five minutes after you guys left, we got a very generous donation from an anonymous donor.  
  
** Earlier **  
  
Amy Rose, the obssesive pink hedgehog from Sonic the Hedgehog games, sat at her computer looking at an odd advertisement. "Hmm, save SSBM? Donate generously!!!!" She read. "Well, Sonic won't mind if I use his credit card. I just hope exactly $1,345,075.01 is generous enough."  
  
** End **  
  
Suddenly, the smashers heard "Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed at the top of someone's lungs.  
  
"What was that? Oh well, anyway, where back in business. We even got enough money for a plush interior in the lounge." Master Hand said.  
  
"You mean to tell me you never considered calling us to tell us this?" Ness asked.  
  
" Noooooooooo.", the master hand retorted.  
  
"Yeah, we're back in business!!!" Everyone but Ness yelled as the group ran back in to begin fighting.  
  
** Later **  
  
Kirby looked through the internet, finding a strange advertisement. "Hmm, save Sonic the Hedgehog games."  
  
The End?  
  
Yes  
  
Why?  
  
Because I say it is!!!  
  
So, what'd ya think? Remember, it's my first SSBM fic, so please Review kindly! ^__^ OR ELSE!!!  
  
Bye! 


End file.
